Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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