Me too!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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