Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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