a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize