how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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