Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
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I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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