R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize