shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize