I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smell my finger.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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