Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I don't deserve a penis
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize