My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
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