hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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