it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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