I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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