Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
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I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
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Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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