I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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