i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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