its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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