you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
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conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
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I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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