I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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