does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize