Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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