I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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