Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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