Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
It's not a walk of shame if you run
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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