I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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