i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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