So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize