she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
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We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
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Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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