the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
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I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
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