Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
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It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
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Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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