it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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