Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
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I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
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EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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