he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize