I am in a vortex of obligation.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
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He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
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I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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