Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize