You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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