No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Drake has all the answers
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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