She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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