So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
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Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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