We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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