careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
So here I am, sexting at work.
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