i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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