Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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