did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize