i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize