my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
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And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
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If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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