we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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