Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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