What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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